The rematch nobody wants

By: Mike Lange

Last night created a sad reality for the NBA and all basketball fans. Unfortunately, we are drawing eerily close to Spurs/Pistons 2, the rematch of the original nobody watched or wanted. With just the 3rd road victory in the Conference Semifinals, the San Antonio Spurs eliminated the New Orleans Hornets in game 7 and will move on take on the Los Angeles Lakers for the right to represent the Western Conference in the NBA Finals. So I will now write something that I have never written and I pray I will never have to write again: Go Lakers!

There… I said it. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Why am I so disgusted by my support of the Lakers? First, the Lakers are the most polarizing team in the NBA. They are the Yankees of basketball. You are either a Lakers fan or you hate them, and I my friends am the latter. Its not that I wish them harm; it’s just that I am tired of the Lakers. From about 1998 - 2004, the NBA was Shaq, Kobe and the Lakers and that was about it. If the NBA was on TV, it was the Lakers vs. (Insert irrelevant team here). Then Shaq goes to Miami. Finally, something new to talk about? Not a chance. Now we have the Shaq vs. Kobe feud. Every Christmas we had to endure another over-hyped Heat/Lakers game. Then even during the off-season. Shaq is out of shape and injured, but we still have Kobe. Kobe goes on show after show, flipping a coin to decide whether he will play the disgruntled star that refuses to play another game or the humble employee who wants to be a Laker for life. Kobe flip-flopped more often than John Kerry. And now we have the Lakers as the number one team in the West, nudged over the top by the late-season addition of Pau Gasol (forget investigating collusion in keeping Bonds out of baseball, how the hell did this trade go through?).

So now we have the “Dream Final Four,” as Mike & Mike called it this morning; The Lakers/Spurs and Pistons/Celtics. All storied franchises with a winning tradition. Both conference finals should prove to be great battles and entertaining to watch. But for the love of God, please don’t leave me with another Spurs vs. Pistons finals. We tried this once and we already know that nobody in America really cares about these teams (outside of San Antonio and Detroit), and nobody will watch. In the Spurs we have probably the most uncelebrated dynasty ever in professional sports. They win every other year, but the fact is that the Spurs are BORING! The star player is the Bryant Gumbel of the NBA (the whitest African American they could come up with), the point guard is French (do I need to expand on this) and the next best player is Ginobili, who bitches and complains about officiating while being guilty of flops worthy of Oscar-consideration (or at least The World Cup). The Spurs are a hard team to like and an even harder team to watch. The Spurs are the equivalent of Pete Sampras; maybe one of the best of all time, but nobody cares because there are flashier, more enjoyable things out there to see. In the East, we may end up with Detroit. Are these the role models we want for young basketball players? They have all but said they coast through the regular season and have actually admitted getting bored during games! They play the same style of boring basketball as the Spurs, but they are more arrogant about it. Even Flip Saunders has said that the Pistons take nights off and gives the impression that he could care less. If only the Eastern Conference had more than 2 good teams (DET & BOS) and 1 great player (LeBron), then the Pistons would stroll into the playoffs and get hammered in the first round. As it is, the 76ers tried much harder than the Pistons, but they suck so it doesn’t matter. Orlando was reminded that they are a year or two and a player or two away.

So give me Boston vs. Los Angeles in the NBA Finals. I know it will be completely over-hyped and all we’ll see on Sportscenter is old clips of Lakers/Celtics games. We’ll hear crazy analysts comparing Kobe and KG to the Magic and Bird clashes of the past. I don’t care. At least the product will be entertaining. We’ll have some games that get into the 90s, maybe even 100s here and there. The Celtics will probably take games 1 & 2 at home in close games, then get blown out in LA. Kobe will probably hit a big shot in game 5 in Boston to give LA the win. Ray Allen will still be completely absent from any big moments, KG will still be putting up 20 and 10 every game and Paul Pierce will keep playing well… and Boston will get blown out again in LA and Kobe will finally get the hoist his first post-Shaq championship trophy. Even though seeing the Lakers win the championship will make me nauseous, at least I will see it. If we get a Spurs/Pistons final, or even a Spurs/Celtics final, basketball season will officially end early for me and it will be hello Women’s College Softball World Series.

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Mike Lange is a graduate of University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV) and a first-time blogger, so go easy on him. His opinions come from a lifetime of living in Las Vegas without a professional sports team. Therefore, no geographical bias (except the ever popular anti-Yankee bias) will be evident. Mike likes to think he knows a lot about a little and a little about a lot in the world of sports and in general.

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  1. [...] In ‘04-05 the Spurs failed to win 60 games and they failed to have the best record in the NBA (they finished tied for second). While they won a hard-fought seven game series against the Detroit Pistons that year, the series was anything but memorable. Most basketball fans have actually been trying pretty hard to forget it. [...]

    Pingback by The Fall of a Non-Dynasty | NationalSportsReview.com on May 30, 2008

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